You make everything glorious and I am Yours. What does that make me?

Is it from a mirror we determine our beauty?

Is affirmation from others where we find our self worth?

There are days when I deeply struggle with what makes me beautiful. As I wrestle with the question I think of all the things I need to change, everything I need to work on. The more I think of what makes me less beautiful, the more ugly I feel. Girls struggle with these thoughts all the time, to the point that it brings them to bulimia, shame, depression or anxiety. 

We feel trapped in disparity. We feel hopeless in our ambitions. 

We look in our mirror for confirmation. 

We hang from the words of a loved one for our identity.

And then, we use and abuse all the things provided for our good. We are promised to always have enough food, yet we eat too much or none at all. We are told of the beauty of sex and we give it to boys who say our surface is beautiful.

But what defines our beauty on the inside?

Where does our loveliness reside?

In what do our souls rest?

There is perfect joy and peace in something bigger. Immense satisfaction from His spirit. He has promised us more than we could ever need and once we embrace that, truly embrace it, and set our worth in that alone; we are beautiful.

We really are.

No one can take away a love that radiates from within. When your beauty is lit from the inside, it reflects to the outside. In the same way, trying to shine beauty from the outside inward will never fill up all the spaces with light. We cannot be full from it. It will inevitably fail us. There are only so many pounds you can lose before you wither away, only so many boys you can be with until none desire you.

His love though, is eternal. It is never fleeting. It never fails to provide us with all we need. 

So skip the scale. Break the mirror. Button your shirt.

They will not make you beautiful. 

Walk with the confidence that when you accept His love, you radiate His beauty. 

Because where there's a man who has no voice, there ours shall go singing.

I am so tired of complacency.

Why has my fire been dampened? My thirst has not been quenched. Yet, I am still foolishly stagnant. My life is not my own. It is an offering of love. Still, I waste the day.

This love has no reason to remain in me. It is to be poured lavishly on the children of the world and yet I keep it. I selfishly savor each moment with it. But you see, this love can never fully satisfy unless it is being shared with others. 

I have no desire to remain tomorrow what I already was today. 

I want to grow in my abilities.

I want to flourish in Your love.

I want to be lit from the flame of grace, with not a solitary selfish ambition left pulsing through my veins. 

It is not up to me who is reached by my outpouring of love, but it is up to me to make sure it is released. I am not called to make decisions, but to open hearts. I am not sent to save souls, but to expose their needs. I am an intercessor. I am a mighty ship whose port is within the hearts of others. I am guided by faith and fueled by love. I have no mission but that of a pirate; to pillage souls of their brokenness and ready them to be filled with true treasure. 

I want to be rid of this stagnation, rid of this complacency. I want a yearning, a passionate desire to pour an exuberant love into this cold world. Most of all, I want fulfillment of my purpose through a zealous joy in my mission.

My country, 'Tis of thee.

My hands cannot type fast enough to keep up to the pulsing of my heart. I am energized by the wrongs in this world. We demand to be held to a higher standard of living and yet turn up our noses at the fellow down the street. He wishes he could demand that same standard and get away with it. Yet we lock him in cages, we want him off our streets. We hand him handcuffs instead of a home. We give him a snarl, not a second chance. 

He is everything we are except lucky. 

He was dealt a poor hand and instead of letting him redraw, we make him fold. Who are you to take something away from him that you too were once so earnestly seeking? Did you not long for a chance, for a reason to dream, for an opportunity to arise? While he might have to wait on a street corner instead of a warm house as you had, he still has hope. His dreams as a child were the same as yours. His faith has been dimmed by nights lived on that corner, but it will not fade away. How dare you, a stranger, attempt to blow it out. It will never be your place in the world to take someone else's hope, no matter how little they have left.

The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

All week the question has risen, is it where I am supposed to be? The easy road lies before us and the path with thorns and boulders is beside us. Where do we choose to fall into motion? The easy path will temporarily fill us with satisfaction, give us a label, provide us support. But in the midst of this trying world, the easy way is still hard. We will still have bills to pay and people to please. In choosing to take the narrow path however, we discover something about ourselves. We find that we are not as small as we once perceived. We have within us, a vast river of strength, flowing swiftly to aid us in our aspirations. We need only put ourselves in the midst of trouble to determine our true power. 

Making the decision is not easy, the toughest of choices never were. We slowly become aware of where it is we are supposed to be when we feel a longing, a soft tugging, on the strings of our hearts. Should you choose incorrectly, your heart will always pine for that which you did not undertake. The challenge will never be forgotten. In life decisions, we feel an urge for the answer. Our hearts are combated by our heads. It becomes a game of soft hearts against thick skulls. In the end, the only thing that will bring you true joy is that in which your heart delights. It matters not how hard the task. Upon accomplishment, and even sometimes along the journey, we will realize how vital the decision we have made is. We will begin to understand the impact choosing the harder path imprints on our lives. In the game of life, we are approached with circumstances. We are called to make the decisions based not on the ease of the moment, but the significance of the journey. 

So how then do we answer the question of placement? You will be called to where you are supposed to be. For where your treasure lies, there your heart will be also.

Your love never fails.

You hold my spirit in your hands. My fear of failure is gone. You resurface my confidence and liberate my joy. When I find myself in a frequent moment of weakness, you rain down your grace to fill my empty cup. You protect and persuade me. Infinite beauty is on my horizon, painted by your love. My mind tries to comprehend what my heart knows. 

You are the giver of life and the lover of souls.

You bring to my soul an aching for your comfort.

A longing for your love.

So come, flood my broken spirit with your mercy.

Gently seduce my heart.

Whisper your affections to my yearning ears.

Leave a resounding impact of your love in mine.